aureat:

if a girl ignores you she’s either hella pissed or hella sad and whatever it is you better apologize if you don’t wanna be ignored for the next 28 years

witchlingfumbles:

satdeshret:

buginateacup:

Guys who try to use the “Are you on your period?” as way to end an argument always amuse me. Because it gives me the excuse to lean in close and whisper.

“I started my day by waking up in a pool of my own blood. Is that how you’d like me to end yours?”

omfg this is great

New favorite comeback.

actionables:

[puts your dick in my mouth]

tis but a metaphor

smallvagina:

You put the dick between your legs, but you don’t actually give it the power to fuck you. A metaphor.

the-winchester-initiative:

posthumous-mcdouble:

Hypothesis: if women are worse at parking, it’s only because they’ve been lied to about what eight inches is their entire lives

image

(Source: collectiveassbutts)

hijabinator:

devilfruits:

Do you ever look at 9 year olds and just know they’re gonna be a fuckin douche in 6/7 years.

everytime i look at my brother

Every time I see my sister.

(Source: gettingsodas)